One of the most beautiful benefits of attending daily Mass has been the opportunity to listen to the Eucharistic prayers more than just once a week on Sunday. I have found that Eucharistic Prayer II is a favorite of many priests and so I have had much time to ponder this prayer.
I have always been drawn to the words after the consecration which say, “... giving thanks that you have held us worthy to be in your presence and minister to you.” I’m unsure as to why I have been attracted to that particular line of the prayer, but nonetheless, I repeat it often within my own heart. But, as the Mass continues, we also speak seemingly contrary words just before receiving the Eucharist: “Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” So which is it… am I worthy or unworthy? I believe it’s possible for a both/and encounter with Christ.
In the context of each statement, therein lies the details of my worth. To be in the presence of Jesus gives me the strength and the power through the Holy Spirit to become a worthy disciple. It is only in the presence of Jesus that I can possess what is necessary to be “worthy” to minister to The One who lacks nothing. This worth is unattainable all on my own. I must remain connected to the vine so that I can minister to those who need the face of Christ that only I am able to bring. Scripture says that what I do for the least of these, I do for Jesus. HE is the source of my compassion; HE is the source of my mercy; HE is the source of my ability to love. Only when I remain in Him and with Him, can I possess what is needed to be the disciple which He calls me to be. He is the vine and I am the branch and each time I minister to another in His name, it’s like a small bud appears on the branch. These small buds grow, bloom and produce a beautiful fragrance because they have been tended to with the loving care of Christ Himself.
At the same time, I know that I am not worthy.
“If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand?” Ps 130
My humility is tested and I need Jesus to bring me into His heart so that I am able to be healed of my sins. His Word is life-giving and I ask Him simply, to say the Word, and my soul is healed. He and I are united in this beautiful oneness. His love and sacrifice for me is what makes me worthy… it is Jesus, my Bridegroom. The space between being worthy in the eyes of Christ and worthy in my own eyes, is something that only He can bridge. If left unchecked, my incredible ego would take over and I would be left to my own vices. Lord, I am not worthy, but I know that You will say the Word and my heart will be healed and I will be brought, once again, into the fullness of Your love.
My beautiful Catholic faith is a mystery and that mystery is what draws me again and again to contemplate Jesus and His great love for me. Am I truly worthy of this love? I may not always think so, but my Bridegroom does and that is enough for me.
Nicky Verna, Copyright 2024
Comments